Born without choice
ironic
the unknown fear
hidden
the depth of life
reality seldom realised
walking the dead.
Each green mile
subconsciously
eaten
youth
day
by
month
by
year.
I cry one billion tears
unknown to my consciousness
as the clock beckons with it's etched face,
each finger glides
wags
never weary
guiding our way to darkness.
I need to take the slow path
as each line appears
never fade,
they crawl across mankind
as the quick path beckons
with demons of excess
the price of life?
Death.
© 2008 Michaela James.
A journey into the depths of my heart, mind and soul. "From my heart a single tear hangs low..." {Pink Raven}
09/05/2008
'Myself & I.'
'Myself & I.'
You toss and
turn
crumpled
unlike a blank page,
creases permanent.
Can you hear me?
the taunts that wake you.
Can you see me?
the shadows that lash your bed.
Can you feel me?
the footsteps you imagine
real.
I am hidden within the mind's riddle
darker than night,
reaching each corner,
grasping at your purgatory
licking the flames of
sympathy's hand held empathy-
the child-like figure
peering thro' the frosted window
pleading for
the deep sleep-
until then
I'll circle your being
devour your life,
drown your dreams.
© 2008 Michaela James.
27/04/2008
'Life's Litter.'
Life's litter strewn
across the bedside table,
cornered by the photograph
ripped in two
haunted beauty
smiled
defaced.
Distant melodies
fed
my lobes as
the needle throbbed
blue veins empty
tears to be born
never came,
the moment crushed
cracked like a jigsaw
the final piece gone.
Thro' the eyes of my inner child
I saw fear
skit across the landscape
borrowed
bludgeoned
burnt
mirrored within my own self worth.
Innocence lost each night,
dreams cradled
blatantly sold
the promise of freedom
born from rage
soiled
and I can save my world,
the inevitable
consequence of delusion.
I am what I am,
a dead man waking
in time for the ultimate score.
© 2008 Michaela James.
across the bedside table,
cornered by the photograph
ripped in two
haunted beauty
smiled
defaced.
Distant melodies
fed
my lobes as
the needle throbbed
blue veins empty
tears to be born
never came,
the moment crushed
cracked like a jigsaw
the final piece gone.
Thro' the eyes of my inner child
I saw fear
skit across the landscape
borrowed
bludgeoned
burnt
mirrored within my own self worth.
Innocence lost each night,
dreams cradled
blatantly sold
the promise of freedom
born from rage
soiled
and I can save my world,
the inevitable
consequence of delusion.
I am what I am,
a dead man waking
in time for the ultimate score.
© 2008 Michaela James.
11/04/2008
I Remember You.
A distant face,
once pretty
now
ill-defined,
drowned
in self remorse.
I remember you
misinformed and
misaligned,
manic
you bled me dry.
A childless mother of convenience
or should I say dilapidated?
I could mock you,
snigger in the back room
or
hold my helping hand
high.
The moment of fondness buried
ten years before
still scored across my eyeline
as the tears forged roots.
I travel back,
recollections lucid,
haunting every move
till now,
I see the hate
haggard and
hidden
like a photograph
torn,
the band of gold slung across the room
melted,
forged myself into the iron fist,
I raged against
the lasting memoir,
could have punished you deeper
the hot blade of my tongue
through your bleating mind,
lashing at your lilac poison
perfumed,
choking
as I recall your words
‘I will love you,
always.’
© 2008 Michaela James.
once pretty
now
ill-defined,
drowned
in self remorse.
I remember you
misinformed and
misaligned,
manic
you bled me dry.
A childless mother of convenience
or should I say dilapidated?
I could mock you,
snigger in the back room
or
hold my helping hand
high.
The moment of fondness buried
ten years before
still scored across my eyeline
as the tears forged roots.
I travel back,
recollections lucid,
haunting every move
till now,
I see the hate
haggard and
hidden
like a photograph
torn,
the band of gold slung across the room
melted,
forged myself into the iron fist,
I raged against
the lasting memoir,
could have punished you deeper
the hot blade of my tongue
through your bleating mind,
lashing at your lilac poison
perfumed,
choking
as I recall your words
‘I will love you,
always.’
© 2008 Michaela James.
10/04/2008
Blind.
‘Blind.’
Motion of mind played night and day,
echoed reason
the calamity of desperados
tricked in on the ill wind
hallowed be thy prayer,
devoured in the instant
divine rights etched linen.
My lord and master chained to the thigh
lapped at innocence,
sin wrought with pleasure
each word hung with every groan
misplaced
tortured be thy prayer,
unheard yet ridiculed
each thought swept in a flood of babble.
Truth taken,
twisted like the apple tree,
forbidden speech and
written words wane
within time
blood on every hand held
each corner turned
blind.
© 2007 Michaela James.
Motion of mind played night and day,
echoed reason
the calamity of desperados
tricked in on the ill wind
hallowed be thy prayer,
devoured in the instant
divine rights etched linen.
My lord and master chained to the thigh
lapped at innocence,
sin wrought with pleasure
each word hung with every groan
misplaced
tortured be thy prayer,
unheard yet ridiculed
each thought swept in a flood of babble.
Truth taken,
twisted like the apple tree,
forbidden speech and
written words wane
within time
blood on every hand held
each corner turned
blind.
© 2007 Michaela James.
10/10/2007
'Morphine.'
Down the dark dire road
mechanical, morose
the exit
the only end
intricate droplets
throbbed slow
delirium
as happiness hung.
My ivory tower
withered
manhood stripped
sober sensuality
septic
the only tear
one final fear perpetual.
Languished
on the merry-go-round,
high
life surreal.
I laid with the surge
laughed with the past
wired my wretched wonderland
three days
four nights
refused the restless
reality,
the internal inferno
the internal inferno
swallowed
my infinite being
pounded my paternal pride
drew me to the abyss
as I peered
over the periphery.
Michaela James.
Michaela James.
05/10/2007
Pillow Talk.
I was the blood that bred ill
the treasure of moments
taken
without due care,
eloquent
the whisper of death
I ghosted into your dreams
watched you undress,
penetrated your innocence,
lust dispossessed.
You took me with the smile
cruised my affection,
danced
with drunken allure
upon my fertile ground
hooked on the ether of desire
you completed me,
evolved, perspired
never defeated me,
needed the need.
I was the flame of devastation
the tragedy of your mothers nightmare
bored into your flesh,
I trashed your love and
dissolved the skin.
Immersed my poison into your womb,
caught the demon of every fable
entwined your longing,
twisted it
turned the tricks
white lies
ripped
your husband
from within your mind
tossed him aside.
© 2007 Michaela James.
the treasure of moments
taken
without due care,
eloquent
the whisper of death
I ghosted into your dreams
watched you undress,
penetrated your innocence,
lust dispossessed.
You took me with the smile
cruised my affection,
danced
with drunken allure
upon my fertile ground
hooked on the ether of desire
you completed me,
evolved, perspired
never defeated me,
needed the need.
I was the flame of devastation
the tragedy of your mothers nightmare
bored into your flesh,
I trashed your love and
dissolved the skin.
Immersed my poison into your womb,
caught the demon of every fable
entwined your longing,
twisted it
turned the tricks
white lies
ripped
your husband
from within your mind
tossed him aside.
© 2007 Michaela James.
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