The slip of your delicate frame cavorts with demons,
strokes shadows of the moon
skipping through ether,
one step, two step
shuffling clouds
like a deck of cards
collapsing through time.
I light a cigarette
inhale fumes of death
enriched with arsenic,
breathe through rustic nostrils
my voice aching with every murmur
"I will follow, soon,
once the drip, drip, drip subsides."
My eyes look deeper
and you have gone
but so have I,
down the corridor and a taxi home.
I pour a bourbon and smile,
look to the mirror
choose not to cry
but enjoy the moment
tomorrow's end
and all she will bring.
© 2008 Michaela James.
A journey into the depths of my heart, mind and soul. "From my heart a single tear hangs low..." {Pink Raven}
20/11/2008
14/11/2008
The Attic.
Rumours abound deep within
hollow cries of yesteryear,
shackle
the truth,
fear
the embrace.
The monotonous rain congealed,
each drop splays the floor
in sequence
the chimes of the clock
mocking all who sleep below.
Time ravages all who come to pass
yet welcomes with a splendid hello
for here lies hell
the prison of my mind
uncontrolled
I and I alone.
I pace once a year through empty spaces,
banging my head against their door
the momentary shadow
talks to me
as I watch from the attic window.
I am the sequence of events
murdered in dreams,
the black and white smudged
inherited from demons long settled.
The caricature of life
captured by the lonely descent
of every passer-by
their prayers unanswered
laced with venom
choked by lore and prose
their God in my hands
as I sever each throat
including my own.
©2008 Michaela James.
hollow cries of yesteryear,
shackle
the truth,
fear
the embrace.
The monotonous rain congealed,
each drop splays the floor
in sequence
the chimes of the clock
mocking all who sleep below.
Time ravages all who come to pass
yet welcomes with a splendid hello
for here lies hell
the prison of my mind
uncontrolled
I and I alone.
I pace once a year through empty spaces,
banging my head against their door
the momentary shadow
talks to me
as I watch from the attic window.
I am the sequence of events
murdered in dreams,
the black and white smudged
inherited from demons long settled.
The caricature of life
captured by the lonely descent
of every passer-by
their prayers unanswered
laced with venom
choked by lore and prose
their God in my hands
as I sever each throat
including my own.
©2008 Michaela James.
Porcelain.
I interpret the bargain in my hands
your porcelain face
carved within the timeline of apathy
I anticipate the shatter of delusions
specific to my crime
deny the denial of my every whim.
Dusk arrives and
I hurt more than I’ve ever done
stick the pins as we collide,
capitulate to the whore of wisdom
consider your worth.
One day you will be mine
forever entwined
dust to dust
ashes to ashes
we will rise.
© 2008 Michael J. Earnshaw.
your porcelain face
carved within the timeline of apathy
I anticipate the shatter of delusions
specific to my crime
deny the denial of my every whim.
Dusk arrives and
I hurt more than I’ve ever done
stick the pins as we collide,
capitulate to the whore of wisdom
consider your worth.
One day you will be mine
forever entwined
dust to dust
ashes to ashes
we will rise.
© 2008 Michael J. Earnshaw.
12/08/2008
"Shadow Play."
I stare rejection in the face
before I go to bed
each night
It smiles as if it knows
everything I'm yet to feel
burns into the carcass it betrays
a shadow play.
Single droplets dissipate
tormented
I look beyond,
try to see
understand that this is it
this is me
I can't.
I close my eyes and turn
catching for a moment
herself move
she reaches out
I walk away.
© 2008 Michaela James.
before I go to bed
each night
It smiles as if it knows
everything I'm yet to feel
burns into the carcass it betrays
a shadow play.
Single droplets dissipate
tormented
I look beyond,
try to see
understand that this is it
this is me
I can't.
I close my eyes and turn
catching for a moment
herself move
she reaches out
I walk away.
© 2008 Michaela James.
one corner
Tears as trinkets
unlike diamonds
shiver with pain
one corner of the room
displayed yet
shadowed by the hand that caressed another.
The void of sanity enveloped
with each blow
seared
torched by words of sorrow
one corner of the mind
hidden yet
reflected in the shallow cry of silence.
I saw myself
slumped
engorged
piety drowned
one corner of the box
lit for a moment
before the darkness took me.
© 2008 Michaela James.
unlike diamonds
shiver with pain
one corner of the room
displayed yet
shadowed by the hand that caressed another.
The void of sanity enveloped
with each blow
seared
torched by words of sorrow
one corner of the mind
hidden yet
reflected in the shallow cry of silence.
I saw myself
slumped
engorged
piety drowned
one corner of the box
lit for a moment
before the darkness took me.
© 2008 Michaela James.
06/06/2008
Soften The Sorrow.
Blind my eyes
So my shadow won't scare me
Sever my hands
So I can never hold onto the past
Deafen my ears
So I may hear silence eternal
Sew my lips
For they shall utter no more
Tales of abandoned truth.
Wrap my lungs in clouds of smoke
So the air I exhale chokes
Carve my flesh with the quill
So my pores bleed empty
Pluck my heart with the blade
So the beat inevitably slows
And pickle my mind
For it shall soften the sorrow
Of my everlasting final thought.
© 2008 Michaela James.
So my shadow won't scare me
Sever my hands
So I can never hold onto the past
Deafen my ears
So I may hear silence eternal
Sew my lips
For they shall utter no more
Tales of abandoned truth.
Wrap my lungs in clouds of smoke
So the air I exhale chokes
Carve my flesh with the quill
So my pores bleed empty
Pluck my heart with the blade
So the beat inevitably slows
And pickle my mind
For it shall soften the sorrow
Of my everlasting final thought.
© 2008 Michaela James.
09/05/2008
'The Price Of Life.'
Born without choice
ironic
the unknown fear
hidden
the depth of life
reality seldom realised
walking the dead.
Each green mile
subconsciously
eaten
youth
day
by
month
by
year.
I cry one billion tears
unknown to my consciousness
as the clock beckons with it's etched face,
each finger glides
wags
never weary
guiding our way to darkness.
I need to take the slow path
as each line appears
never fade,
they crawl across mankind
as the quick path beckons
with demons of excess
the price of life?
Death.
© 2008 Michaela James.
ironic
the unknown fear
hidden
the depth of life
reality seldom realised
walking the dead.
Each green mile
subconsciously
eaten
youth
day
by
month
by
year.
I cry one billion tears
unknown to my consciousness
as the clock beckons with it's etched face,
each finger glides
wags
never weary
guiding our way to darkness.
I need to take the slow path
as each line appears
never fade,
they crawl across mankind
as the quick path beckons
with demons of excess
the price of life?
Death.
© 2008 Michaela James.
'Myself & I.'
'Myself & I.'
You toss and
turn
crumpled
unlike a blank page,
creases permanent.
Can you hear me?
the taunts that wake you.
Can you see me?
the shadows that lash your bed.
Can you feel me?
the footsteps you imagine
real.
I am hidden within the mind's riddle
darker than night,
reaching each corner,
grasping at your purgatory
licking the flames of
sympathy's hand held empathy-
the child-like figure
peering thro' the frosted window
pleading for
the deep sleep-
until then
I'll circle your being
devour your life,
drown your dreams.
© 2008 Michaela James.
27/04/2008
'Life's Litter.'
Life's litter strewn
across the bedside table,
cornered by the photograph
ripped in two
haunted beauty
smiled
defaced.
Distant melodies
fed
my lobes as
the needle throbbed
blue veins empty
tears to be born
never came,
the moment crushed
cracked like a jigsaw
the final piece gone.
Thro' the eyes of my inner child
I saw fear
skit across the landscape
borrowed
bludgeoned
burnt
mirrored within my own self worth.
Innocence lost each night,
dreams cradled
blatantly sold
the promise of freedom
born from rage
soiled
and I can save my world,
the inevitable
consequence of delusion.
I am what I am,
a dead man waking
in time for the ultimate score.
© 2008 Michaela James.
across the bedside table,
cornered by the photograph
ripped in two
haunted beauty
smiled
defaced.
Distant melodies
fed
my lobes as
the needle throbbed
blue veins empty
tears to be born
never came,
the moment crushed
cracked like a jigsaw
the final piece gone.
Thro' the eyes of my inner child
I saw fear
skit across the landscape
borrowed
bludgeoned
burnt
mirrored within my own self worth.
Innocence lost each night,
dreams cradled
blatantly sold
the promise of freedom
born from rage
soiled
and I can save my world,
the inevitable
consequence of delusion.
I am what I am,
a dead man waking
in time for the ultimate score.
© 2008 Michaela James.
11/04/2008
I Remember You.
A distant face,
once pretty
now
ill-defined,
drowned
in self remorse.
I remember you
misinformed and
misaligned,
manic
you bled me dry.
A childless mother of convenience
or should I say dilapidated?
I could mock you,
snigger in the back room
or
hold my helping hand
high.
The moment of fondness buried
ten years before
still scored across my eyeline
as the tears forged roots.
I travel back,
recollections lucid,
haunting every move
till now,
I see the hate
haggard and
hidden
like a photograph
torn,
the band of gold slung across the room
melted,
forged myself into the iron fist,
I raged against
the lasting memoir,
could have punished you deeper
the hot blade of my tongue
through your bleating mind,
lashing at your lilac poison
perfumed,
choking
as I recall your words
‘I will love you,
always.’
© 2008 Michaela James.
once pretty
now
ill-defined,
drowned
in self remorse.
I remember you
misinformed and
misaligned,
manic
you bled me dry.
A childless mother of convenience
or should I say dilapidated?
I could mock you,
snigger in the back room
or
hold my helping hand
high.
The moment of fondness buried
ten years before
still scored across my eyeline
as the tears forged roots.
I travel back,
recollections lucid,
haunting every move
till now,
I see the hate
haggard and
hidden
like a photograph
torn,
the band of gold slung across the room
melted,
forged myself into the iron fist,
I raged against
the lasting memoir,
could have punished you deeper
the hot blade of my tongue
through your bleating mind,
lashing at your lilac poison
perfumed,
choking
as I recall your words
‘I will love you,
always.’
© 2008 Michaela James.
10/04/2008
Blind.
‘Blind.’
Motion of mind played night and day,
echoed reason
the calamity of desperados
tricked in on the ill wind
hallowed be thy prayer,
devoured in the instant
divine rights etched linen.
My lord and master chained to the thigh
lapped at innocence,
sin wrought with pleasure
each word hung with every groan
misplaced
tortured be thy prayer,
unheard yet ridiculed
each thought swept in a flood of babble.
Truth taken,
twisted like the apple tree,
forbidden speech and
written words wane
within time
blood on every hand held
each corner turned
blind.
© 2007 Michaela James.
Motion of mind played night and day,
echoed reason
the calamity of desperados
tricked in on the ill wind
hallowed be thy prayer,
devoured in the instant
divine rights etched linen.
My lord and master chained to the thigh
lapped at innocence,
sin wrought with pleasure
each word hung with every groan
misplaced
tortured be thy prayer,
unheard yet ridiculed
each thought swept in a flood of babble.
Truth taken,
twisted like the apple tree,
forbidden speech and
written words wane
within time
blood on every hand held
each corner turned
blind.
© 2007 Michaela James.
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